So the past few days have been quite fabulous. I am so lucky to have such wonderful friends and family in my life who make me so happy (:

My sweet Elizabeth came and stayed the night Saturday. We had a blast together!!

She absolutely loves taking silly pictures.

Isn't she fab?

My best gal, Rachel. Friends since '93 bitches (:

We decided to spend our Friend Date day lounging by the pool. Absolutely perfect day together!!

This is our legit picture taking faces...don't be jealous at our awesomeness.

But occasionally, if you're lucky, you'll catch a smile while we laugh (:

 But do be jealous of our amazing friendship. She is my dearest friend, confidant, and sister!!

I'm back bitches, so let's get down to it!!

Question: Why is it that life is a never ending day of high school?

Even though I graduated 4 years ago life in general is like high school. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. At work there is a vicious group of girls who are constantly being two faced bitches!! No matter who you are, old or new, funny or idiotic these girls will always be nice to your face and tear you to pieces behind your back. Why you may ask?! Who effin' knows!!!! It is so unappreciated. Then on top of that my mom (even after the fact that I moved out) is always up my ass about the most random things. She is like that teacher in high school who keeps piling useless shit on top of more useless shit all day, everyday! Then my smoke breaks are like those times at my locker where my friends and I could just bitch out about everything.

For real, does high school ever truly end?

Please reassure me that I am NOT the only one who feels like this.

WARNING: The conversations and situations are all real.

I think my life would make a great sitcom. It would be a comedy about a girl who has  this insane family who say things you wouldn’t normally expect and her awesome friends who have epic adventures! For example a line in the show would be...
Dad: Ya know Amanda I think I’m going to quit drinking soda.
Me: That’s a good idea Dad. If you quit drinking soda I’ll quit sniffing cocaine.
Dad: Amanda that’s not funny.
Me: But I’m serious.
Dad: No you’re not.
Me: Yes I am.
Dad: Amanda Clare I am going to kill you then bring you back to kill you again.
Me: It’s ok the cocaine will do that Dad. Don’t worry.
Dad: AMANDA!
Me: Juuussssttt Kiiiiddddiiiinnnggg.

Now let’s keep in mind this conversation actually went down on Friday while Dad and I were driving to McDonalds. He did not find this funny….at first, but it was actually hilarious. Another conversation would be…
Mom (in a furious rage after seeing our mailbox bashed in) : I wish I had a gun to track down the stupid teenage boys who did this to our mailbox.
Me: What if they were girls?
Mom: I’ll have a gun. So it won’t matter.
Me: (shaking head in utter disbelief)

Yes ladies and gentelman she really said this. Last set of dialog. This will now be between my best friend and me.

Rachel: Ughhh, Sarah (her aunt) is horrible.
Me: What do you mean?
Rachel: When I told my mom I was coming to get you she was staring at me. I told her you needed me and Andrea told her you were crying and she says ‘Why doesn’t she cry to her mom?’ and I said ‘She did and they got in a fight.’ Then I told her I was leaving and Sarah says ‘Oooohhhhh Rachel and Amanda are gonna run off together.’
Me: Oh, you mean in her fake accent?
Rachel: (laughing)
Me: I mean she’s been in this country for like what 10 years, it should’ve worn off by now. Ya know next time I see her at your family party I’m gonna look at her and say ‘Oooooohhhhh Sarah is your accent real?’
Rachel & Me: (roars of laughter)
Me: You do know what this means though right?
Rachel: What?
Me: You have to go home and tell your mom you’re running away with me into the woods where we’ll build beds out of sticks and I’ll Adam and Eve it and make my clothes out of leaves. Then I won’t shave and be a wilderness woman.
Rachel & Me: (more roars of laughter)
Me: It’s really ok though, Sarah will get her’s when Madeline comes home pregnant.
Rachel: That’s not funny.
Me: Yes it is.
Rachel: (laughing) Yea it is!

See what I mean?! Pretty funny right?

(via Boooooooom)

Let these brighten your day (:

Life Lately...

The week started with the Family Guy Drinking Game.

Now you'd think "Eh, no big deal. Just your usual drinking game." WRONG!! You get wasted after three episodes and feel like dog shit the next day. 

This was us on episode one!! There was a rule that said drink one every time Peter does something stupid....he is ALWAYS doing something stupid!!

It's okay though, we had a blast anyway. I think it has potential of being a Sunday Funday ritual.

Plus...I just love them (:

Now we move on to our weekly dinner with friends and family. Matt made the most AMAZING spaghetti and Elizabeth got it everywhere. What a peach (:

The Jilly and Elizabeth wanted to have a photo shoot though all the pictures turned into them laughing about drinking Yoohoo's and Capri Sun's.

Kissing the cook is a sincere form of flattery and a great way to get out of the dishes.

Look at my babies, I just love those rascals.

I think this explains perfectly how I feel about Matt (:

I  [H E A R T]  SCREAM.

These are the only horror movies I enjoy watching. Why? Because you learn from them (:

1. You can NEVER have sex. Sex=DEATH.

2. You can never drink or do drugs.

3. Never, ever, ever say "I'll be right back." You NEVER come back.

4. In a sequel the body count is ALWAYS higher.

5. Death scences get more elaborate.

6. NEVER assume the killer is dead.

7. In trilogies the killer becomes super human of sorts. Stabbing and shooting will not work.

8. Anyone can die...including the main character.

9. The past will always come back to haunt you.

10. Here's the thing about re-makes...don't fuck with the originals ;)

See. I have learned so much from the SCREAM movies. After learning these rules I can tolerate horror films a bit more, though don't get me wrong...I still get scared. But I suppose that's the fun in it all (: 

In Honor of Daniel Tosh....

....I'm making a "I Hate List"....get excited.

1. I hate my boyfriend's ex girlfriend, especially when she stands on her porch and stares at me. (Yes, she lives across the street from us. Bleh.)

2. I hate prolonged comedy sequences. If it's longer than 30 seconds than it is not truly funny.

3. I hate watching Criss Angel. I want to know how he levitates, it can't be real!! Probably magnets.

4. I hate news breaks in the middle of a show I'm recording. Come on, can't it wait until commercial break?

5. I hate noisy neighbors with their three kids, dog, and their yelling ways.

6. I hate people who bluntly make it known how trendy they are. If you're so damn trendy why do you have to tell me?! Why can't I just look and see??!! Shut your mouth!!

7. I hate when Matt makes me listen to Insane Clown Posse. Just do, they suck...big balls.

8. I hate those commercials with the sick animals and Sarah McLachlan. Why must you try to make me cry every time I'm watching South Park re-runs?!

9. I hate the smell of permeant markers and paint. Any one that does is a huffer in my book.

10. I hate Snooki, J Woww, DJ Paulie D, and anyone else associated with Jersey Shore. They disgust me.

Have a great day (:

This is my grandma and grandpa when they got married over 61 years ago. Today I found out my grandpa won't be with us much longer and looking back I can honestly say he is the greatest man I have ever known. He taught me bravery, love, and compassion. He took care of every single one of his children and grandchildren. He was simply amazing in every way and I will love him forever.

(via HERE)

Have a wonderful day darlings (:

15 Thoughts

1. Everyone should download 'Hey Hey' by Superchick. It's a great ego and mood booster.

2. Laugh at the dumb asses in the world. Would you rather die miserable because the world offended and hurt you feelings or die laughing because your joy conquered them??

3. Pauly Shore cracks my shit up.

4. I love what my hair looks like post-sex. I wish I could ALWAYS achieve that look ;)

5. No matter what happens in my day listening to The Offspring and Plain White T's makes me feel better.

6. I hate nosey people, but with my best friends I'm the first to say 'Who just text you? Who are you talking to?' Whoops...I'm a walking contradiction.

7. Surprisingly enough a young host I work with has started climbing the ranks of being in my best friend category...and she's only 16!!

8. Netflix is the singe greatest thing ever invented. I love watching childhood shows on it (:

9. Anime is gay.

10. I adore secrets. I have many and know many though some of the ones I have on others they have no idea I know them. Isn't that the best??

11. My boyfriend is the best boyfriend in the world. That's right, no one else compares...so be jealous!!

12. I'm not sure how I feel about Twitter anymore. It was fun, but then I realized a bunch of my friends don't have it. Now I feel lame ):

13. Exploring new and outrageous fashion has been on the mind lately. I wore green tights with jean shorts and ankle boots today....and LOVED it.

14. Documentries are becoming more fun to watch for me.

15. Karma is a bitch, so don't f**k with her!!

You know what I sincerely HATE....judgmental people. You know them, we all do; the ones that are narcissistic, competitive,  secretly insecure, rude for absolutely no f**king reason, the ones that walk around all high and mighty. My key to pissing them off....

....laughing them off. Who cares what they think?! These girls are the ones most find crazy, have no real relationships of any sort, and arrogant. I'd rather be considered fat with a kick ass personality than a skinny bitch who everyone hates. So go ahead and tell people I'm lazy, judge my relationship when you have no idea what is going on, and call me FAT. Karma will bite your ass hard bitch, so enjoy it while you can before everything goes down the shitter. At least I have love, happiness, and loyalty in my life...that's all I will ever need.

So smile...if you have a narcissist in your midst just laugh it off because nothing stings a bitch more than knowing she hasn't lowered your self esteem just to boost her own (:

So Sorry I Was AWOL...

...so let's catch up!!

This is the final result of Sam and I's adventure to going blonde. I think I'm in love with it, I make a rather good blonde if you ask me. Sam finally graduated beauty school and to celebrate we went to a Blue's game. It was ehhhh....but we had a shit ton of fun.

Life lately has been uber stressful, but I'm starting to realize how good I'm becoming at laughing it all off. For instance, Friday afternoon I went to my parent's house to pick up some mail only to find my older brother, Nick, hauled over his bed screaming in pain. Now up until this point in life I have seen my brother cry a total of three times in his life and be in agonizing pain maybe four times. So you could understand my heartbreak and fear to find him this way. I rushed him to the ER and he had surgery to get his appendix out. He is still in the hospital and late last night we sat together talking about our lives. We reminisced on the good times and tried to find understanding on the bad times. We talked for hours and I ended up crying. There were many memories he told me about that I realized I didn't remember, about three years of my life are blank to me. Nick filled in certain pieces that broke my heart, I now knew why I felt and acted certain ways. After we had a few minutes of silence I told him I wanted to laugh for the rest of my life and never make the same mistakes our parents made. I wanted to be better and happier. He wished me luck on my new outlook as I left. When I got to my car I realized one of my doors was open, when I was fairly sure it had been locked. My car had been broken into and the only things missing were some money, half a pack of cigarettes, and my most beloved item...my iPod. I sat shocked at first. I wanted to cry and scream and be angry. I laughed instead, like this was some test from the universe to see if I would really laugh at my problems from here on out. So I sparked one of the remaining cigarettes and laughed all the way home.

Who cares if my luck runs short sometimes. As long as I have my brothers, my best friend, and my boyfriend I'll survive this life somehow. Even when I trip in my beautiful ankle boots I know one of them will always pick me up.

I'm in the midst of dying my hair blonde. Nothing outrageous, just different. My best friend, and hair stylist,  is doing a three week process on my hair. Here is our hopeful result:

I naturally have dark hair like Kim Kardashian and she did it right when doing a drastic hair change. The dark blonde look is exciting me more and more.

15 Thoughts

1. I recently discovered that "Boy Meets World" is STILL airing reruns....so they have taken over my DVR and I love it (:

2. I am becoming obsessed with jewel tone colors, particularly for my nails.

3. Rain is now my least favorite wrath of mother nature. We are getting too much of it in the midwest and it always makes my jeans wet at the bottoms. That my friend is the WORST feeling of all.

4. Why do people still wear cowboy hats? We are not in the wild west or wrangling horses for a living. Grow up, buy a nice suit and get a damn haircut.

5. Snookie graces this weeks Rolling Stone magazine...I about puked when I saw it.

6. My niece has now discovered how to take pictures of herself with my camera. I don't know if I should be worried or proud.

7. I wish I would have had teachers like Jonathan Turner in high school. He's hot, drives a bike, and is the most insightful person ever created for a television show.

8. Teenagers scare me. I serve them hand and foot all day long and the way they act is horrifying. They throw shit EVERYWHERE, never say please or thank you, think they are above you because you are their server when they will more than likely end up in your place after they fail out of college, this list could honestly go on for days. I just don't like them.

9. I strongly believe that there is nothing wrong with drinking at any point of the day. Sometimes a mojito helps me wake up. I am not ashamed (:

10. I am so sick of seeing weight loss commercials every time I turn the channel. Why is it impossible for people to just love themselves?

11. ifiwritelikethisdoyouknowwhatiamsaying?

12. Bob Saget may be technically "washed up" but I still love him.

13. I want a gay best friend.

14. Sometimes I wonder why other couples make me want to vomit, but honestly Matt and I can get pretty bad....hmmmm, I am a walking contradiction.

15. Ke$ha is on my Pandora right now and my ears are bleeding.

If you enjoy a GREAT laugh you NEED to watch Daniel Tosh's new stand up "Happy Thoughts." I have watched it five times since it premiered....last night. Seriously, I thought I was going to piss myself. He is the king of racist, gay, and girlfriend jokes that make you wonder if he is being completely serious or if he is full of shit. But either way you'll life will be filled with joy in ways you could never imagine.

My number one pet peev is girls who wear too much make up!! The fresh face look is what I love. Here are my favorite looks (:

I recently moved into my first apartment with my boyfriend, Matt, and our friend Kyle. Here's an exclusive sneak peak:

So you can tell dudes live with me?? 

And since I've moved in we have hosted weekly dinners with my brother--Nick, my niece--Elizabeth, and my best friend--Sam (:

Don't worry...more girly touches are in store. Stay tuned for my future decor!!

15 Thoughts

1. I have a new found obsession of Pretty Little Liars. I love mysteries, but I hate a prolonged story.

2. I have been on this iTunes kick lately. With the exception of a few recorded shows I've mainly been jamming out. It's time for a new playlist.

3. My apartment is finally starting to get more girl to it. Living with two guys makes decorating difficult, but I am slowly making progress.

4. Does anyone know where I can find a variety of circle mirrors? They will hopefully be going in my dining room (:

5. I recently came out of the closet of being a clean freak. Who knew having my own place would make me so anal about cleaning regularly.

6. I really need to commit to this whole working out thing soon, summer is coming...FINALLY!!

7. New favorite Capri Sun flavor= TROPICAL PUNCH.

8. The variety in my closet has noticeably grown, but I'm still only sporting sweatpants and tank tops.

9. I am considering making myself an alias just for the hell of it.

10. "She ain't a rockstar but she got groupies, She ain't no actress but she makes movies..." Now as catchy as that song is and I secretly like it I wish people used the education they all have.

11. PEOPLE NEED TO LEARN THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ACCEPT AND EXCEPT!!!

12. I watched 5 minutes of Jersey Shore last night....still HATE it.

13. It's about that time to go buy more PINK products from Victoria Secret (:

14. My niece just walked out of my closet with my leopard print high heels and said "Manda, I look fierce!!" Oh I am proud and curious to where she learned the word fierce, she is only three.

15. "Born This Way" music video....not that great. It looked like she was aiming for a Star Wars theme.

As I sit here re-watching my favorite Oscar moments I wonder to people REALLY appreciate Jesse Eisenberg. He is a stunning actor....and I'm not just talking about the 'Social Network'. I adored him in 'Adventureland'. He has this dry, sarcastic, sense of humor that he does oh so well and an undeniable talent that makes you just love to watch him. Of course I was mildly upset he didn't win Best Actor last night, but he has many years to come to win that award.

I love, love, love braids!! Especially when paired with a messy bun. I think it's mainly because you can dress it up or down. A braid will always work...I don't care what anyone says, they will always be in style.