WARNING: The conversations and situations are all real.
I think my life would make a great sitcom. It would be a comedy about a girl who has this insane family who say things you wouldn’t normally expect and her awesome friends who have epic adventures! For example a line in the show would be...
Dad: Ya know Amanda I think I’m going to quit drinking soda.
Me: That’s a good idea Dad. If you quit drinking soda I’ll quit sniffing cocaine.
Dad: Amanda that’s not funny.
Me: But I’m serious.
Dad: No you’re not.
Me: Yes I am.
Dad: Amanda Clare I am going to kill you then bring you back to kill you again.
Me: It’s ok the cocaine will do that Dad. Don’t worry.
Dad: AMANDA!
Me: Juuussssttt Kiiiiddddiiiinnnggg.
Now let’s keep in mind this conversation actually went down on Friday while Dad and I were driving to McDonalds. He did not find this funny….at first, but it was actually hilarious. Another conversation would be…
Mom (in a furious rage after seeing our mailbox bashed in) : I wish I had a gun to track down the stupid teenage boys who did this to our mailbox.
Me: What if they were girls?
Mom: I’ll have a gun. So it won’t matter.
Me: (shaking head in utter disbelief)
Yes ladies and gentelman she really said this. Last set of dialog. This will now be between my best friend and me.
Rachel: Ughhh, Sarah (her aunt) is horrible.
Me: What do you mean?
Rachel: When I told my mom I was coming to get you she was staring at me. I told her you needed me and Andrea told her you were crying and she says ‘Why doesn’t she cry to her mom?’ and I said ‘She did and they got in a fight.’ Then I told her I was leaving and Sarah says ‘Oooohhhhh Rachel and Amanda are gonna run off together.’
Me: Oh, you mean in her fake accent?
Rachel: (laughing)
Me: I mean she’s been in this country for like what 10 years, it should’ve worn off by now. Ya know next time I see her at your family party I’m gonna look at her and say ‘Oooooohhhhh Sarah is your accent real?’
Rachel & Me: (roars of laughter)
Me: You do know what this means though right?
Rachel: What?
Me: You have to go home and tell your mom you’re running away with me into the woods where we’ll build beds out of sticks and I’ll Adam and Eve it and make my clothes out of leaves. Then I won’t shave and be a wilderness woman.
Rachel & Me: (more roars of laughter)
Me: It’s really ok though, Sarah will get her’s when Madeline comes home pregnant.
Rachel: That’s not funny.
Me: Yes it is.
Rachel: (laughing) Yea it is!
See what I mean?! Pretty funny right?
