So the past few days have been quite fabulous. I am so lucky to have such wonderful friends and family in my life who make me so happy (:

My sweet Elizabeth came and stayed the night Saturday. We had a blast together!!

She absolutely loves taking silly pictures.

Isn't she fab?

My best gal, Rachel. Friends since '93 bitches (:

We decided to spend our Friend Date day lounging by the pool. Absolutely perfect day together!!

This is our legit picture taking faces...don't be jealous at our awesomeness.

But occasionally, if you're lucky, you'll catch a smile while we laugh (:

 But do be jealous of our amazing friendship. She is my dearest friend, confidant, and sister!!

I'm back bitches, so let's get down to it!!

Question: Why is it that life is a never ending day of high school?

Even though I graduated 4 years ago life in general is like high school. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. At work there is a vicious group of girls who are constantly being two faced bitches!! No matter who you are, old or new, funny or idiotic these girls will always be nice to your face and tear you to pieces behind your back. Why you may ask?! Who effin' knows!!!! It is so unappreciated. Then on top of that my mom (even after the fact that I moved out) is always up my ass about the most random things. She is like that teacher in high school who keeps piling useless shit on top of more useless shit all day, everyday! Then my smoke breaks are like those times at my locker where my friends and I could just bitch out about everything.

For real, does high school ever truly end?

Please reassure me that I am NOT the only one who feels like this.

WARNING: The conversations and situations are all real.

I think my life would make a great sitcom. It would be a comedy about a girl who has  this insane family who say things you wouldn’t normally expect and her awesome friends who have epic adventures! For example a line in the show would be...
Dad: Ya know Amanda I think I’m going to quit drinking soda.
Me: That’s a good idea Dad. If you quit drinking soda I’ll quit sniffing cocaine.
Dad: Amanda that’s not funny.
Me: But I’m serious.
Dad: No you’re not.
Me: Yes I am.
Dad: Amanda Clare I am going to kill you then bring you back to kill you again.
Me: It’s ok the cocaine will do that Dad. Don’t worry.
Dad: AMANDA!
Me: Juuussssttt Kiiiiddddiiiinnnggg.

Now let’s keep in mind this conversation actually went down on Friday while Dad and I were driving to McDonalds. He did not find this funny….at first, but it was actually hilarious. Another conversation would be…
Mom (in a furious rage after seeing our mailbox bashed in) : I wish I had a gun to track down the stupid teenage boys who did this to our mailbox.
Me: What if they were girls?
Mom: I’ll have a gun. So it won’t matter.
Me: (shaking head in utter disbelief)

Yes ladies and gentelman she really said this. Last set of dialog. This will now be between my best friend and me.

Rachel: Ughhh, Sarah (her aunt) is horrible.
Me: What do you mean?
Rachel: When I told my mom I was coming to get you she was staring at me. I told her you needed me and Andrea told her you were crying and she says ‘Why doesn’t she cry to her mom?’ and I said ‘She did and they got in a fight.’ Then I told her I was leaving and Sarah says ‘Oooohhhhh Rachel and Amanda are gonna run off together.’
Me: Oh, you mean in her fake accent?
Rachel: (laughing)
Me: I mean she’s been in this country for like what 10 years, it should’ve worn off by now. Ya know next time I see her at your family party I’m gonna look at her and say ‘Oooooohhhhh Sarah is your accent real?’
Rachel & Me: (roars of laughter)
Me: You do know what this means though right?
Rachel: What?
Me: You have to go home and tell your mom you’re running away with me into the woods where we’ll build beds out of sticks and I’ll Adam and Eve it and make my clothes out of leaves. Then I won’t shave and be a wilderness woman.
Rachel & Me: (more roars of laughter)
Me: It’s really ok though, Sarah will get her’s when Madeline comes home pregnant.
Rachel: That’s not funny.
Me: Yes it is.
Rachel: (laughing) Yea it is!

See what I mean?! Pretty funny right?

(via Boooooooom)

Let these brighten your day (:

Life Lately...

The week started with the Family Guy Drinking Game.

Now you'd think "Eh, no big deal. Just your usual drinking game." WRONG!! You get wasted after three episodes and feel like dog shit the next day. 

This was us on episode one!! There was a rule that said drink one every time Peter does something stupid....he is ALWAYS doing something stupid!!

It's okay though, we had a blast anyway. I think it has potential of being a Sunday Funday ritual.

Plus...I just love them (:

Now we move on to our weekly dinner with friends and family. Matt made the most AMAZING spaghetti and Elizabeth got it everywhere. What a peach (:

The Jilly and Elizabeth wanted to have a photo shoot though all the pictures turned into them laughing about drinking Yoohoo's and Capri Sun's.

Kissing the cook is a sincere form of flattery and a great way to get out of the dishes.

Look at my babies, I just love those rascals.

I think this explains perfectly how I feel about Matt (:

I  [H E A R T]  SCREAM.

These are the only horror movies I enjoy watching. Why? Because you learn from them (:

1. You can NEVER have sex. Sex=DEATH.

2. You can never drink or do drugs.

3. Never, ever, ever say "I'll be right back." You NEVER come back.

4. In a sequel the body count is ALWAYS higher.

5. Death scences get more elaborate.

6. NEVER assume the killer is dead.

7. In trilogies the killer becomes super human of sorts. Stabbing and shooting will not work.

8. Anyone can die...including the main character.

9. The past will always come back to haunt you.

10. Here's the thing about re-makes...don't fuck with the originals ;)

See. I have learned so much from the SCREAM movies. After learning these rules I can tolerate horror films a bit more, though don't get me wrong...I still get scared. But I suppose that's the fun in it all (: